There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
