so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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