It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
