Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
