And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
