My brain says no but my pants say off.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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