i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
