Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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