The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you never un-have a 4some
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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