I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
