Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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