Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
