I am midnight drunk by noon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
