She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
