I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
