At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
