Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
