fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
