I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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