i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
