You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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