so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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