Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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