I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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