shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if only i could text you this smell
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Everclear isn't food dammit
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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