Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
