they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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