felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
