Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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