Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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