What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
