i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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