bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
