I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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