My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
