we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
