You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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