Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
