Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize