Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
cat food counts as protein by the way
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
