It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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