Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
