I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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