$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
