so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
