some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
