sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
