I skipped work to stalk him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
