I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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