I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
