Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
