The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
