Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize