If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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