Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
