Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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