when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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