There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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