Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
