I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
