I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Shame - the story of my life.
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