i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
